As I am being transparent in my journey to 33, I wanted to share that I’ve been dealing with how to trust and follow the leader when I don’t see the plan or the blueprint. I know what the end is going to be, but the construction work that has to take place to get there & when I do not have a physical map to show me the way….MAN, it got hard for me to let go and follow! So, this morning I want to share a little piece of me; an exercise I did this morning to help me learn to trust & follow without seeing. I think this is called submitting. Yeah, maybe, perhaps…LOL!
This morning on July 29th, I got up early to catch the commuter bus to work. I intended to be on the 6:09am bus and I expected the bus to get me to work at 7:00am. That’s my plan, right? Well, I got on the bus at the expected time. So far my day is moving forward and “YAY!” I’m going to be at work like I expected at 7:00am. I know this bus driver and I know the way he takes to get to work every time I ride with him. I know his route so well, I can close my eyes and I can tell you actually where we are on the route to DC from Maryland; that’s how comfortable I am with him and how well my senses are. Get that? It may sound weird, but I can do it. So I get comfortable in my seat, turn on Tune-In Radio, and put my sunglasses on. Now I’m comfortable; so I closed my eyes and began to mediate and think. As the man is driving the bus, he comes to a sudden stop! I open my eyes to see where our location is because I knew we weren’t far enough in the journey to meet the traffic jams that are along the way. I was right! It’s 6:21am; I started to panic and realized my plans will not work-out like I wanted them to if I don’t make it to work at 7:00am. “NO, NO, NO” is what I’m screaming in my head, but then the calmness tells me to get back comfortable and trust me. So I sit back, closed my eyes, and listen to the voice say, “I have you”. So I DECIDED to do this exercise with myself. I said to myself, “Do not open your eyes until you’re near your bus stop and go by the sensory around you to trust that where this bus driver is taking you, you’ll get to work”. Let me tell you, it was difficult!! So many sudden stops (possibly due to traffic…not sure because my eyes were closed), seems like we had MANY, MANY, MANY more curves & turns in the route that were not familiar to me, & I felt like the “red lights” were out to get us. I tell you, the route this man took this morning, I WAS NOT FAMILIAR with it. I started to open my eyes because I was starting not to trust the driver. I felt frustration boiling up. I was getting anxious and started to open my eyes. Then the voice says, “Trust me”. Ugh, really. Again, the calmness came upon me. At this point, I felt my sensory game was so off and I didn’t care. I just wanted to be at work SAFELY and in one piece! 7:00am was not my priority anymore. So I guess you know where I’m going with this right? The small & calming voice was not telling me this for just any reason. The Father was speaking to me about life and MY LIFE in that case!
This is how the story ended with getting to work: At some point in the journey to work, I stopped trying to figure out where we were and where and which way we were going. It got to be annoying and a bit stressful because with my eyes closed I couldn’t see my way. I just sat back and started to really enjoy the ride and thank God that His angels were ahead of me and making sure that no hurt, harm or danger comes my way. Suddenly, I felt the bus driver take a familiar turn onto the 12th Street Bridge. How did I know? My senses told me by the noise under the bridge, the way my body shifted when making that turn under the bridge, the sound the bus makes when it goes through the tunnel. That’s my senses working for me…LOL! Almost to that PROMISING END!! Now, I’m thinking, “I’m only 6 minutes from work with 2 stops ahead of mines. There’s always traffic here so that’s going to add another 5 minutes. I don’t know the time on the clock, but that’s cool, because I’m at least in downtown DC not in Maryland traffic”. Yes, I can analyze some things (LOL). But I felt us coasting! No stopping. I’m shocked!!! I’m almost to work and YAY and YAY, but then another sudden STOP; like pressing down really hard on the brakes stop, trying to break my neck stop. REALLY??? I’m at the FINISH POINT, so why now? But of course, there has to be a BUMP right before the PROMISE! Did I worry…NOPE, I was too close. Then we started coasting again. Then the driver says, “Metro Center” turns on the overhead lights and lets the passengers off. As he started to pull away I realized that this WHOLE time ALL I had to do was trust and follow. Once I submitted to HIS voice, I didn’t worry about how long the journey to work would be. My priority was getting there through all the turns, stops, distractions that came upon us. As he pulled up to my stop to let me off, I said, “thank you and have a GREAT DAY” and his response was, “YOU DO THE SAME”!
As you can see, I made it to work, but not by my time. I stepped in the door at 7:06am. I didn’t care though. I felt that was the time I was to be there in the first place!
I hope you enjoyed my testimony! I’m doing better daily putting GOD First and letting HIM lead my way when I do not have the plan or blueprint, but I see/feel the reward! Submitting to HIM is going to take me to new heights that I did not know I could achieve!
Jasmyne J. (Jazzi J or Jazz or J or Bubbly…LOL!)
Hebrews 11:1 New Living Translation (NLT)
11 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
Hebrews 11:1 KJV
11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
**This writing was written in July 2014. It’s a testimony that I’m still trying to abide in and trust in throughout this journey.